By Jeff Kramer

Looking for a fun, easy way to shed unwanted pounds? Here‘s the perfect summertime solution: Build your own backyard boot camp using common household items such as propane, mulch and children. The trick is to create a fitness circuit that uses your yard‘s existing features to pump up the pain.

WARNING: Boot camp-type workouts are strenuous. Do not continue to exercise if you are no longer conscious.

My decision to build a backyard boot camp was prompted by two events: one, I wanted to shake up my exercise routine, and two, I had a fast-approaching column deadline.

After some deliberation I decided on 10 stations, each a minute long, with an emphasis on functional movement v. gym-type routines. To lessen the risk of me hurting myself, I enlisted my two daughters, Miranda, 12, and Lily, 9, to pre-test the circuit.

From them I learned that Kamp Kramer is basically safe ... Okay, maybe not 100 percent, federally-approved safe, but, you know, not overtly dangerous or anything like that. The risk of an explosion is minimal.

To help inspire your own ideas, check out the stations that make up Kamp Kramer:

1. Bench Steps. On our back porch we have a wooden high-back bench that won‘t be completely rotted through for at least another two winters. It‘s perfect for a step-up drill. Step onto the bench and back down, repeating rapidly for a full minute. Not miserable enough for you? Add a weighted vest, a blindfold and an MP3 player loaded with Michael Bolton.

 2. Weed Crawl. The pursuit of fitness is a worthy endeavor in its own right, but why not harness its power to do an actual chore? We have a chronically weedy brick patio, but it‘s less weedy now thanks to this total body beat-down. Maintaining as close to a push-up position as possible, walk on all fours across any weed-infested surface, pulling up a weed each time your hand touches the ground. It‘s an environmentally friendly way to kill unwanted vegetation -- or at least wound it -- while developing the same muscles you‘ll need to scuttle out a side door to avoid capture by the FBI.

3. Slide Sit-Up. A seldom-used backyard slide just got repurposed into an ab workout from Hell. Lie on the slide on your back with your feet on the ground and your hands extended behind you, gripping the sides of the slide. Lift and lower your legs and repeat for a minute that feels like a month. The isolation of the muscles is so total that Lily, a fit soccer player and dancer, suffered stomach cramps, and Miranda emitted audible sounds of suffering. As a boot camp designer, these are the moments you live for.

4. Circles of Haul. A wheelbarrow with a flat tire works best. Load it with as many bags of mulch or manure as you can handle, and push it around the yard, making ever tighter circles as you go. The more uneven the load the better. This one isn‘t so much about feeling the burn as it is about feeling dizzy and nauseous.

5. Satan‘s Picnic. Grasping about 20-pounds of weight depending on your fitness level, walk sideways up and over a picnic table and then back the way you came. Repeat for 1 minute. To increase the difficulty, perform exercise while others are sitting at the table trying to enjoy a picnic.

6. Inchworm. Put those snow tires in the garage to good use. Lay them out in a line. Pick up the first one and run it down to the far end, placing it after the last tire. Run back to the start and repeat, slowly inching the line of tires across the yard. This exercise works the legs and upper-body and has that “X” factor every boot camp needs: It feels totally pointless and stupid.

7. Sloggin‘ Toboggan -- Load several bags of mulch or manure onto a plastic toboggan. Get a good grip with both hands on the rope handle. Pull the loaded sled across the lawn as if you‘re a horse pulling a plow. You‘ll want to wear gloves for this, too. For an extra burst of cardio -- and personal humiliation -- perform the toboggan pull while yodeling.

8. Tire Squat. Again we take advantage of the kids‘s play set, this time the tire swing. Hold the top of the tire with two hands and lean back at a 45-degree angle so the tire -- and your arms -- are extended in front of you. Now slowly squat and return to the leaning-back position. Repeat the movement multiple times. You should feel a searing burn in your quads. If it‘s a warm day you might also feel a searing burn on your palms Youch! That tire is hot! Thanks to the pre-test, I knew to don protective gloves. Thanks for the heads-up, girls!

 Veteran journalist Jeff Kramer also writes for the “What‘s Up at Upstate” blog the first Monday of every month at upstate.edu/whatsup

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